the crack in the universe

wehidebehindstars:

peachvenom:

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder

image

I hate it when a student asks a legit question because theyre confused and the teacher treats them like an idiot like no wonder students don’t want to ask questions

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

sixpenceee:

oh my god

sixpenceee:

oh my god

the-arena-ballerina:

neptunain:

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"

homorecker:

My fav thing about tumblr is the complete lack of country music it makes me feel like this is where I should be

chinese-zeus:

lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva

thestolencaryatid:

passive aggressive family members

"guess i’ll never be a grandma"

"guess i’ll never be an aunt"

"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"

stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

rumour:

how do some of the pictures i see on this website happen